Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
