please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
is wine microwaveable?
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
