I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Randomize
