We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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