It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So squirting runs in the family.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
