i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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