It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
