this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Too much gin, very little bucket
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
