I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
