dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
