I bet he comes in French.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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