living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
