She is in my trunk
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize