the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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