dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
