brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
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