How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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