ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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