I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
