Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Drunk is a universal language darling
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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