I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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