But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
