This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
