let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
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