oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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