even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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