Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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