420 ftw
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
