Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
even my farts smell like vagina
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
