Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
