Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
