the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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