Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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