On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
