We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
