Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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