We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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