I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She announced her abortion via fbk
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
