you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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