Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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