ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize