Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
