can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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