Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
this boner is exhausting
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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