from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
