I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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