I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
