We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
