The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
