if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
