Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
