Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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