He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
