I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize