Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
