Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
