Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My cat gives me a boner
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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