people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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