Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
