i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize