see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
