his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
