You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
