What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
